TO PARENTS

You are here as a concerned, perhaps heartbroken parent.  You may be wondering how to help your child.  There are some basic principles to guide you in helping your child.

• Tell the child what happened in a clear, simple, honest manner.  Information that you give should be appropriate for your child's mental and emotional age.

• Use the words "dead" and "died".  Do not use the term "went to sleep" to describe a death.  This may cause fear of sleeping.   

• Answer questions simply.  Make sure you understand what your child wants to know.

• Give your child choices (viewing the body, attending the funeral or memorial service, etc.)

• Tell your child what arrangements are in place to take care of him or her if something happens to you.

• It is okay to show your grief.  If you are overcome with grief, have someone take care of your child until you can communicate calmly with your child.

• Maintain routines as much as possible.  The familiar helps children feel safe and secure.

When you are ready to read more, go to "Children's Grief" .

 

 

Additional Help

Helpful Files and Links

Anticipatory Grief	Bibliography
Children Attending Funerals	Children's Grief Responses
Grieving Children:What to Say	How to Help Chart
Informing a Child of a Death	Suicide
Support Group Locator	Start a Support Group

 

Most children grow up to live normal, healthy lives after the death of a parent. 

Adolescents appear to have the most difficulty with the death of a parent.

Academic challenges are seen for up to two years after a significant death loss.

J. Wm. Worden, 1996.  Children & Grief .  NY:  Guilford Press

Peer Support Groups can be helpful to grieving children.

Support Group Locator